When we have self-love we’re accepting ourselves as we are, flaws and all, while still acknowledging that we are whole. This means that nothing and no one can make us feel greater or less than who we already are. By possessing this love we come to realize that anyone who enters our life will enrich us, not complete us. If we keep this mentality when looking for love and relationships, then we’ll begin searching for those who will let us be who we are and vice versa.
No one is perfect. But if we keep looking to be fixed or for someone else to fix, it’s only a matter of time before it all falls apart. Imagine that humans are lifeboats and our imperfections are holes. So when we’re in a relationship, every time we row over and try to patch them up, our own boat begins to sink. We can’t fix someone else’s boat if ours is going under. We need to realize that we only have control over our boat. If we hold onto a relationship that needs fixing both partners need to be willing to do the patchwork. If not, then it’s time to let go.
There’s no use mending something that doesn’t want to be fixed in the first place. So we should begin to look for others that are whole on their own. This doesn’t mean that they’re perfect or completely hole free -none of us are. It means that they take responsibility for their thoughts and actions. They are someone we can be our true, whole selves with. Then together we can complement one another and grow side by side.
The questions for determining the quality of the relationship are “spot on” ! This really puts the energy of the relationship into the proper perspective. Thanks!
We’re so glad you found the Whole Heart Love Practice beneficial. We hope it illuminates the strengths and weaknesses for all types of relationships. Thank you for your kind feedback!