Signs and Signals
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Some of you may not believe what you are about to read.
For many, the idea of spirit is equivalent to ghosts and science fiction. I’m not asking you to blindly trust me, but to take my experiences for what they are. These experiences are potentially unexplainable events in my life caused by forces beyond what I could see. I’m not here to convince you that there’s a hidden, magical world existing within our own. My hope is to explain to you just how I came to believe so that the seeds for belief may be planted in you. Then perhaps the possibility for your own otherworldly experiences can exist.
The leap from denial to acceptance is the scariest one to make. There’s no turning back, but you won’t want to. Because if you take it you’ll see the world in a whole new light, filled with magic and wonder. And who couldn’t use a little more of that in their life? So all I’m asking of you is to have an open mind and try to put yourself in my shoes. Imagine if these experiences happened to you, how would they affect you? Could you see another side of the story?
My story with spirit began my first year of college. I was 18 years old and in search of myself and my purpose in life. I became fast friends with my roommate who shared a similar outlook for her life, thus we searched side by side. We were both already open to the idea that there’s “more to life”, so the idea of ghosts and spirits didn’t scare us.
I came from an upbringing where talks about the Mayan calendar and ancient aliens were a regular occurrence. My dad has always been an enigma, but he’s so knowledgable and passionate about his beliefs that I would inevitably listen. I never felt like he was pushing his thoughts on me, but offering an alternative view of the world instead.
If any part of what he’s saying is true, then there are otherworldly phenomenons out there waiting for us! Plus there’s always been a part of me that was excited about the possibility that there’s more to life than meets the eye. That somehow this new age knowledge was a secret only some of were privy to.
My interest in the unknown grew as I became hooked on sci-fi books, movies, and TV shows. I devoured numerous book series about future dystopian societies as well as an introduction to spiritual enlightenment books, like The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. One of my favorite memories with my dad was spending weekends watching The Matrix movies and getting spooked by The Twilight Zone. Although I knew these books, movies, and shows were science fiction, I couldn’t escape the feeling that there were hidden wonders of the world. And I wanted to find them.
So when I got to college and had the opportunity to dive into the unknowns of the world on my own terms, I jumped right in! It wasn’t long before my roommate and I began our communication with the spiritual world through the Ouija board. And yes, I grew up hearing the horror stories and knew how the media portrayed its use. But that didn’t stop us. Anytime we used the board we kept our intentions and energy positive and only asked helpful spirits to come through.
For the first few months we contacted many different spirits that gave us a variety of messages ranging from who they were to advice about who we wanted to be. It was on the early morning of April 1st, 2012 that more than just words came through to us -footprints did.
I can still clearly remember the moment. I was going to get ready for bed in the communal floor bathroom, so I went to put on my flip flops when I noticed some grey marks on the tile floor. It took me a second to comprehend what I was seeing. I bent down and saw two outlines of shoe prints on the floor right beneath where my flip flops were!
They weren’t the same shape or size, so to make sure I wasn’t crazy I tried wiping them away. But they stayed. For minutes my roommate and I freaked out and tried to understand what we were seeing. We took pictures and videos as proof since we could hardly believe it ourselves! They weren’t going away so I got ready for bed, and when I returned they had faded and vanished soon after.
This was my first encounter with something unexplainable. To this day no one -except my roommate and I- truly believes that what happened in our dorm room was caused by spirit. Every person we shared our story with tried to come up with explanations and ways to discredit what we experienced. It was just moisture, it was the room below you, it was just a strange coincidence. But it wasn’t.
I knew in my gut that this was a sign from spirit, letting us know that they were there. Yet I wasn’t scared. It was reassurance that my belief wasn’t unfounded and now I had proof in something unknown. And the proof just kept coming.
Before we left for summer break our friendly footprints came back another 4-5 times! They always appeared under shoes but began to vary in their shape and size. Some were wide and flat footed while others were thin, high heel designs – and sometimes it was a combination of both! But no matter how they looked, I was exhilarated each time they appeared.
Although we had other options, my roommate and I decided to continue rooming with each other -and in the same room- for our second year of school. We didn’t want to lose the magic we’d found. Luckily it didn’t take long to see our old footprint friends once we returned in the fall. It took a few weeks before they came back in full force, but they continued with their patterns.
I was still filled with awe and appreciation every time they appeared. But like most things of mystery the magic wears off. Although they continued to show up throughout the rest of the school year I became greedy and wanted more. If this really was spirit then I believed and was ready to see what was next!
Fortunately the next chapter of my spirit story began soon after in the spring of 2013. I had laid my spiritual foundations and felt that I was ready to communicate with spirit on my own. So I began to talk and write to them when I was frustrated with guys and school, or confused about life and who I should become. I would freewrite in a journal and talk to them in my head before going to sleep.
I’ve never been a religious person but I remember saying prayers as a child. So for me this was now how I found answers and felt closer to a purpose. I believe it was my persistence and openness to see spirit that helped create the opportunity to experience them. It was March 1st, 2013 when I had my first spirit dream.
Unless you’ve had a spirit dream yourself it’s nearly impossible to describe or understand fully. Essentially, I was in a dream with my deceased Grandma, and the energy of her spirit was actually there. She appeared to me as a younger, more vibrant version of herself and was surrounded by a radiating light.
I immediately knew it was her and could feel her love flowing towards me. It was so overwhelming that I started to cry. But I didn’t want to waste this precious moment so I asked her for some life advice. She gave me a few words of wisdom but said she couldn’t stay long. So I gave her a hug goodbye and she disappeared, leaving me stranded in a dream mall surrounded by people staring at me. Even my own subconscious was confused by my visitor!
This spirit dream gave me more assurance that there was more to life than meets the eye. For awhile I kept expecting to have spirit dreams or run into more deceased relatives that could give me answers to all my seemingly important questions. But I could feel that spirit dreams took an incredible amount of energy out of the spirit that was visiting. So I wanted to make sure I was ready to make the most out of each one.
Meanwhile, I was still communicating with my spirit circle and began to ask them for signs. I had seen Theresa on Long Island Medium use different signs, symbols, and sayings for various spirits. I felt drawn to the one she used with her Grandma -“You are my sunshine”. So I began to put my energy into asking for a sign from spirit using, “You are my sunshine”.
Sure enough, that August I was driving to the east coast with my family for a wedding when we stopped and found a flea market. Sitting there in a big, wooden rocking chair was a fluffy yellow and white pillow with the words, “You are my sunshine” on it. I wasn’t expecting to see my sign so soon or so far away from home, but I immediately felt butterflies in my stomach and tingles up and down my body. I knew it was my sign meant for me.
Over the next few years I came across a handful or two of various “You are my sunshine” signs from wall art to coasters to candles -and even a boat! People tend to say that signs are generic, meaningless, and forced, thus they don’t hold any value. But each time I saw my sign I felt a warm sensation throughout my body that I’d never felt before. I trusted my intuition and took these signs as a personal message of encouragement.
It didn’t matter if anyone else believed, all that mattered was that I did. So I kept asking for guidance. Sure enough, that fall I experienced my second spirit dream, this time with my deceased Grandpa. My Grandpa passed away when I was 8 years old, so I only have a few memories with him. But the spirit dream I had that night in October when he visited me quickly became a new favorite.
This time the dream took place in my childhood home. When I walked downstairs I saw him by the fireplace clear as day. Just as before I immediately felt emotional, but I could also feel his love and knew I was safe. My Grandpa wasn’t a man of many words, so in the dream we danced together and he told me how proud he was of me. And just as soon as it started, he had to leave.
But as short as these dreams were they felt more real than anything I’d experienced in a dream -or in real life for that matter. There’s something unexplainable about encountering unconditional love in a state where you’re so vulnerable. It’s unexpected yet extremely gratifying. To feel fully flooded by loving energy is the most real feeling I’ve ever experienced, asleep or awake.
Although I’ve continued to experience several spirit dreams over the years, I will always cherish these first ones with my grandparents because they gave me immense comfort and certainty. They came at a time when I was still questioning the nature and limits of spirit. So to be able to see and interact with my departed loved ones is something special that can never be tainted or taken away from me.
Looking back it’s easy to see how my foundations of belief developed as spirit slowly revealed itself to me. They always came at a time when I didn’t expect it but needed them the most. And they came in a way that was comforting and familiar. Yet once I had established a belief in spirit, the ways in which they showed themselves to me changed.
Perhaps it’s because I no longer needed proof or because I needed to act on my belief, but spirit stopped revealing itself to me. But I kept believing and continued to talk, write, and ask for signs from them. Although I missed the footprints and wanted to have spirit dreams every night, I knew that the unveiling period was over. Now I had to trust my intuition and realize that I had the answers within me all along.
I still believe in spirit, but I don’t rely on them as I once did. In my early 20’s I was struggling to find myself and only searched for answers outside of me. It took many, many years to let go of the concept that my life was out of my control and that suffering was just a side-effect of being human.
Spirit’s influence in my life taught me to have more faith in myself. If I could communicate with energy that’s beyond me and influence it, what’s stopping me from influencing my own life? I started to believe in manifesting my own destiny. And while I knew I couldn’t avoid the struggles of life, I always trusted that spirit had my back. This “knowing” now surrounds every decision I make to help ensure I stay on my life’s path.
As we evolve, so do our relationships. So while I don’t have the same relationship with spirit as I once did, I trust that they’ll always give me what I need, exactly when I need it. Believing in spirit doesn’t mean that you have to see or hear them. It doesn’t even mean that you’ll always feel their presence. But when you’ve opened the door and seen the truth, you can’t just close the door and forget what you saw.
My door was opened long ago and I’ve hesitated showing it to others for fear of ridicule and skepticism. I knew that the only way for anyone to truly believe in spirit was to experience it for themselves. Thus there was no need for me to share my experiences. But now I know how powerful it can be to plant a seed of doubt by providing proof of the impossible.
There’s a difference between the unknown and the unknowable. How many times in history have humans been proven wrong by assuming the impossible was unknowable, when in fact it was just momentarily unknown? It’s taken time, but I’ve learned to not let the beliefs of others cloud my own. Learn to listen to the questioning voice inside your head, the strange feeling in your gut, or the tingle down your spine. They’re clues to the true nature of reality hiding in plain sight, just waiting for you to uncover them.
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