LOVE & HATE
Practice
Open Mind & Heart
Learning how to avoid and release anger is easier said than done. Since anger can arise from numerous sources, like frustration, stress, or pain, it’s difficult to know what will aggravate you and when. If you allow your anger towards someone or something to grow, eventually it can turn into hatred. But by learning to address anger as it occurs it won’t have the chance to develop and harm you. When you hold onto hatred, anger, and other negative emotions, the only person it’s hurting is you -not them.
One way to develop an open mind and heart is to practice being an objective third party. When you’re discussing a topic or belief with someone and it turns into an argument, imagine that you’re a bystander and try to objectively see the argument. What’s the end goal? What are you trying to say, prove, or win? Are they trying to express something about who they are or what they believe? Try your best to see the bigger picture instead of focusing on the emotional aspect of the argument.
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If you get caught up in the moment and have trouble completing the exercise, that’s completely okay! Negative emotions are strong for a reason and they can be hard to ignore or “think away”. When this happens, come back to the argument when you’re alone and think about or write down why you were angry. Were you protecting yourself or another, standing up for your beliefs, or frustrated that they didn’t agree with you?
Eventually you should see a pattern of where your anger stems from and what tends to cause it. You won’t be able to avoid it altogether, but you can begin to allow yourself to let the pain go. The goal is to realize that no matter what you say or do, it will rarely change someone’s mind completely; no one has that power or authority over anyone else. All you can do is say your truth, hope that part of what you say gets through to them, and find comfort in knowing that you don’t have to hold onto anger anymore.
