“You must learn how to be alone. Loneliness is simply a state of mind. You are never, never alone.” – Bringers of the Dawn

Why should you choose yourself?

Making the decision to put our needs first isn’t always an easy thing to do. We tend to feel guilty if we turn down someone’s request for our time and energy. This is mostly because we have a feeling of duty to our peers and those we love. Many times we feel obligated to assist others because society has made us feel that only serving ourselves is selfish, and selfish people are socially unacceptable.

Perhaps this is because if every person was completely selfish there would be chaos, upheaval, and lawlessness -every man and woman for themselves. This wouldn’t be the same scenario if we all learned to find and choose our self-interest. Because when we are truly self-interested we’re coming from a place where we know ourselves -the good and the bad- and what we want in life. But we can only reach that place if we set aside time to be with just ourselves and our thoughts.


Humans are social beings, thus we tend to avoid being alone without any distractions. Yet there are only a few moments scattered throughout the day that allow us to be completely alone with our thoughts. And even during these times we ignore them by playing music, listening to podcasts, or looking at our phones. We never really let ourselves simply ruminate in our thoughts.

Some of us do have a tendency to daydream and wander off in thought. But it tends to be about the past, the future, or some alternate version of our current life. As adults we’ve forgotten the beauty of imagination and letting our mind create whatever present moment our hearts desire. Being alone with our mind is not a punishment, burden, or an inconvenience. It’s an opportunity to dive deeper into who we are.


When we decide to be alone with ourselves it can be uncomfortable at first. We’re finally giving ourselves permission to think about whatever is on our mind and feel whatever is in our heart. No matter if those thoughts and feelings are positive or negative. But we cannot fear our mind. We must learn to understand it by giving ourselves full permission to experience our thoughts and emotions completely.

The only person we can control is ourself. And to choose ourself in a non-selfish way means being alone with our thoughts, contemplating our flaws and fears, and learning to do the things we love. Then we can act in our own self-interest which will come from a place of loving who we are -inside and out.

A woman bending town to touch her reflection in the water with low clouds and sun behind her

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