For most of my life I’ve been the quiet one. In a group of friends, family, or strangers I’m rarely the first to jump in with an anecdote, change the subject, or share anything truly personal. But I always thought this was because of my background -who I am.
I come from a loud and opinionated family, so finding opportunities to share my thoughts felt like an impossible task. Beyond answering the same questions like, “How’s school?” and “What do you want to do when you grow up?”, I rarely experienced much depth in my conversations.
This mentality then extended into the relationships with my friends. I only had a few close friends at a time, thus whenever I was in a large group setting I became passive -always the observer. It felt like everyone else had something important they needed to say, so I was patient and waited my turn. I found, and still find, that it helps to listen to other’s thoughts on a topic first. Then I can determine if what I want to contribute is useful or needed at all. But by the time I knew what I wanted to say and there was an opening to speak, the topic had usually already been changed.