HOW TO FORGIVE
Practice
how to forgive practice how to forgive practice how to forgive practice
Forgive and Forget
It’s important to find forgiveness for anything in your life that has lingering negativity. Anytime you recall a person or situation and it gives you a pit in your stomach, there’s still unresolved pain. It can be as simple as still being annoyed by the person who cut you off in traffic or took your lunch at work. Or it can be as serious as being the victim in a hit and run or getting mugged on the street at night. In all of these instances the person who hurt you is unknown and won’t give you an apology. So are you going to allow their negative actions to linger and cause you pain? Or will you choose to forgive them anyways and give yourself peace of mind? Use the following exercise when you’re ready to forgive and release your past pain.
A way to free yourself from lingering negativity is to write a letter. Think of a person or situation that you want to let go of but can’t. No matter how much you try and move past it, it’s stuck in your mind. This is who or what you need to forgive the most so that you can forget the associated pain. Give yourself enough time to sit down and write your feelings about why you were hurt or affected emotionally. Writing down the reasons why can help bring you clarity and closure.
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It’s also important to include in your letter that you forgive them and why. Our thoughts influence our actions, so when you actively think and write about forgiveness you’re more likely to give it. Then you can decide to send the letter or just destroy it. If you think it could help you reconnect or mend a bridge, then perhaps it’s worth a shot! If not, then you can hold onto, rip apart, or (safely) burn the letter. It’s the process of intending forgiveness that’s important. The only person who needs to know they’re forgiven is you.
Once you’ve forgiven your past pain, you can practice letting go of the pain and anger you encounter now -and in the future. When you find yourself in a situation that’s causing you negativity actively choose forgiveness. Imagine having positivity and love in your heart that can’t be affected or weakened by them. Use this new perspective that places emotional power in your hands -not theirs. See if you feel the difference when you immediately let go of negativity and choose forgiveness instead.
