ENGAGE: Once you’re aware of your EI you can learn how to use it. A simple, yet effective, way to start engaging your emotional intelligence is to always allow a moment of pause. Whether you’re in a conversation with others or just thinking to yourself, notice what’s just been said before responding. This gives you the opportunity to assess your emotional reaction and decide whether or not it’s accurate or useful. Many times our focus drifts from the present moment, thus our immediate response might not be what’s actually needed. So by taking a pause we allow our emotions to better align with the situation, which then results in beneficial action.
Taking a pause also allows you to step inside yourself -your thoughts and emotions- so that you can better understand yourself. If you notice that you’re quick to anger or blame, take a moment to consider why. Once you feel triggered to respond, pause and notice what’s happening inside of you. Is it the actual person or situation that’s causing this reaction? Or is it a pattern of behavior that stems from a long held insecurity, fear, or trauma? When you observe your routine reactions, it can reveal the real root cause. Then instead of continuing the same cycles, you can use your EI to identify and take responsibility for all of your actions.