Once you’ve accepted the mindset of not taking things personally, the next step is to put the practice into action. The next time you encounter a negative comment that’s directed towards who you are, what you look like, or the way you’re doing something, take a moment before responding. If your initial reaction is usually to yell or give an equally hurtful comeback, don’t. Or if you tend to retreat inward and replay what they said over and over, don’t. Instead try to answer the following questions:
“Does this person really know me?”
“Are they purposefully trying to hurt me?”
“What’s their end goal? Or what reaction are they trying to get out of me?”
Anyone who does not truly know you doesn’t have the right to give their negative assumptions or judgments, especially if their goal is to hurt or degrade you. Many times they just want someone else to feel the pain and hurt that’s inside of them. So when you answer these questions you’ll most likely see that they don’t really know you, aren’t being malicious, and are just releasing their own anger.
After you’ve heard them out and considered their true motive, the next step is to respond with impartiality or positivity. The goal is to eventually find the positive in all interactions, but change takes time. So the best way is to practice using one of the following methods.