Since we can only change ourselves, there’s no use putting energy into breaking down someone else’s emotional wall. Thus the best way to form a connection is just by being you and answering with empathy. No one wants to hear about how they should act or feel from someone who is sitting on their high horse. We share information with others because we seek acknowledgment and understanding.
As humans we are all blessed and cursed to feel such a wide array of emotions. So when we have trouble interpreting them we look to others for guidance and context. In a way then we become dependent on others again. But this doesn’t have to be the same as before. Because when we are truly connecting, and not just communicating, we are relating to each other. We see their pain as our own pain, their frustration as our frustration, or their sorrow as our sorrow.
This doesn’t mean that we can fully understand what they feel, but that our own experiences with pain, frustration, and sorrow give us a common ground. We can now connect on a deeper level because both of us have dropped our emotional walls. Bonds are built when we realize that we’ve both suffered and we can share in our misery.